Constantly practicing….

The Zen thoughts for this weekend:
“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” – Henrico Matias

“I, too, remember the feeling. You are caught between all that was and all that must be. You feel lost.” – Haruki Murakami

I feel completely lost and that’s been the only truth I’ve known for a little while now. I am now focused on stopping myself from living in a future world and am focusing on living in the Now, the moment as it exists, and it’s terrifying to constantly be asked “what are you going to do?” And have no idea. I am breathing, I am focusing on this moment and as time continues to move me forward I will keep focusing on what I have to do and what I want to do and see how it all plays out. I am making no plans, and setting my sight on no particular future. I’ve been burned and burdened and disappointed too much to keep doing that. I’ll find my way eventually, but for now I am surrendering to the loss and the lost-ness of where I am.

Where I am lost
there is green and nature and grey clouds,
cool breezes under the sunshine,
bunnies that skitter off my path,
roses that climb and sway in the wind,
shadows that pass over head,
and children who laugh and giggle late into the night.
Where I am lost
there is still love.