“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”
– Marcus Aurelius

My year of yes and Zen practice was for a purpose, for many purposes. It restored my Soul, gave me peace, and taught me to be present. It taught me, and still teaches me, to accept myself where I am. At this moment, I am on the wavering edge between fear and gratitude. You might think it would be fear and acceptance, but its not. I’m afraid of something I cannot control, beyond maintaining positivity and hope, and I’m grateful for this experience showing me how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown, what I’m capable of, and what more is possible.

It has also shown me, in the smallest and largest ways, (not that I didn’t know) who deeply loves me and my babies. I lay here overwhelmed with love and gratitude. There is a balm to my deepest fears and it is pure love. I may have some small way with words, but my best friend has a way with love that leaves me dumbstruck.

I have godchildren, and have opened my heart to accept that if something happened to my dear friend, Tihra, her children would become the children of my own heart. But, until now, I never knew what it felt like to have someone offer that to me and my own children. To have the great peace of knowing that they would have a family that resembles me, without me, is the greatest gift I could ever be given.

If you don’t know my best friend, you are missing the chance to know an angel on earth.