If there is a path at all, it is emptying yourself of everything you are not.
To figure out what I am not, don’t I have to know what I am? Or, who I am?
“I am a meat popsicle.”
I think that much is obvious.
I am a mother. Duh. I’m a daughter, sister, and friend. Those are roles I have, but that’s not WHO I am. Who am I? Ok, maybe we do need to start with what I am not.
Easy. Ok, I’m not a garbage collector. Wait, actually, I have a lot of baggage, so maybe I have collected some garbage along this path. IS there even a path under all this garbage? I’m not even sure.
I’m not perfect. That’s for sure. So, I need to stop trying so hard to BE perfect. Perfection of being… is that possible? Perfection of BEing, maybe? That’s Buddha consciousness. Yeah, I am definitely not that.
I am a little hopped up on caffeine and it is hard to concentrate on anything else. Well, then there’s one: I am not calm and serene at the moment. And if the moment is all there is, then I am not those things.
I’m not feeling very attached to my zen thoughts at the moment. Too much caffeine. Sorry, this isn’t a very good post. I didn’t want to miss a day and my draft from last night isn’t done. But, what can I say? On this path I am not perfect.
4 AM edit- and this is why my brain can’t have nice things like a full nights sleep and a good balance of serotonin and dopamine.