I wish that I had found you

When I was still young

And untethered

So that we could have run off and

Gotten drunk on life

And not had hangovers

And children to tend to.

I wish that I had found you

Before my hair turned white

But you haven’t found me yet.

I wish that I had found you

When I was exploring Central America

Or New York City or Chicago

And we had adventures together

Wandering through crowds of strangers

And feeling like we were the only

Ones in the world

who knew a special secret

But instead I walk through those cities

And countries

Holding myself together from the inside

Holding my own secrets

Too many to contain but

Too many to share

And you haven’t found me yet.

I wish that I had found you

Before my days ran out

I always expected to look up

And see your eyes

Meeting mine and knowing

That I had been waiting

But that we will have more time.

Enough time.

I always expected that my shadow

Would follow me into the light.

But you haven’t found me yet.