Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

-Pema Chödrön

If anyone actually reads this, I’m sorry I’ve not been doing the blog thing very well lately.

I feel as though I’ve lost the thread out of myself, as though my heartstrings are all in my hands and leading only to a tangle at my feet and no further. I’m trying to work through it and while I am, it seems to only get more tangled around me.

I apologized yesterday to my best friend for being such a whiner and she pointed out that “your personal life is shitty right now, your finances have turned kind of shitty right now, work is really shitty right now and usually at least one of those things is going well for you” so it’s ok to go through a rough time and talk about it. When she said it like that I was a bit surprised. I had not realized that it was those three areas where things really do suck.

I’ve tried having gratitude about it. I still have a job and it pays my bills. I still have a best friend and she is nearby. It could be worse. My children are healthy and I am healthy and taking better care of myself. Those two things are hugely important and make every bit of difference in our lives.

I wonder how it is to be compassionate with your own darkness and find someone who is also compassionate with theirs. I don’t know what that is like. I’d like to. I have found my equal before in people who were at war with themselves. It’s hard. I would like to find some peace.