I decided to name my book Crazy Isn’t Part Time because of something my ex husband used to say to me. I would have these moments of clarity, or shock, dismay, or even mirth over the complete insanity of our lives together and he would say to me, “Baby, crazy isn’t part time.” Looking back now, while living a stable, emotionally and mentally healthy life, I can see just how true that was, even when we weren’t in crisis mode.
“Crazy” for us ran the gamut from intense, passionate love for life and friendship to hellish verbal and emotional abuse, manipulation, and drug addiction. I have struggled at times with how to tell my story without painting him as “the bad guy” because he really wasn’t. When we got married, he was just as much of a dumb kid as I was. As we grew up together, our experiences and his experiences especially, coupled with the traumas we both went through as children, turned our marriage into a very toxic damaging relationship for both of us.
As I picked up the pieces of my life during and post-divorce, I could only look back in wonder at how I ended up where I did. I’m a good person. I’m smart and generally pretty reserved and level-headed. How did I end up on that hellride, with that person, and land here? That is all the stuff I work on in therapy. What I am writing about now are the details of that ride and the things that made a positive difference in the outcome, mainly psychedelic therapy and studying Zen and Stoic philosophy.
If you want to find blog posts related to events in what will become this book, select the “Crazy Isn’t Part Time” tag in the “Topics” drop down menu. I will be adding more content daily as I go through my private journals and notes to create a more cohesive picture of the past. I’m not a great writer or storyteller, but as I work on those things, I hope you get some enjoyment and entertainment out of what I have to say.